


the only demons here are mine, and they're home

by Amanita_Cynth



Series: AroWriMo 2020 [4]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Asexual Character, Character Study, Demiromantic Character, Dissociation, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Other, Purple Prose, Suicidal Thoughts, apparently all I can write this month is character studies mental breakdowns and hugs, arowrimo, cora-san and doflamingo are also mentioned, heart swapping trope cos im a sucker for it, spoilers for law's backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:14:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22938469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanita_Cynth/pseuds/Amanita_Cynth
Summary: But he’d said it, hadn’t he, at Dressrosa? That if it all went wrong Law wanted to die by his side. Naturally, it had been 80% about Doflamingo, but there had been a part of him screaming: he’s here and in danger because of you, because he does the right thing just because he can, because he is selfish and insanely determined about those he calls friends and you knew that and still let him get close, because he looked at you and called you a good man and the least you can do for someone like that is die alongside them.Or: dealing with a pirate war and a sudden lack of life goals is bad enough without trying to figure out confusing new feelings.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Nico Robin & Trafalgar D. Water Law
Series: AroWriMo 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624459
Comments: 22
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few things:
> 
> 1) I consider Luffy allo ace and Law demi allo. 
> 
> 2) I haven't read these arcs in ages so when are these conversations set? Ambiguous fanfic hours I guess. There almost definitely wasn't time for them where I actually set them.
> 
> 3) I did not like the way Doflamingo was handled. Yeah, cold-blooded murder of a defeated opponent isn't great in a medium aimed at children and teens, but there is no way Law was actually happy with that outcome. Doffy was the most terrifying thing to him for most of his life and that constant lingering fear of him breaking out and coming for vengeance? Not great! 
> 
> 4) On a related note I didn't feel like there was enough emotional fallout for him which again, is the formula, Luffy fixes everything. But Law was not only expecting but pretty much planning to not survive Dressrosa. That's not a mindset so easily overturned. Oh well, that's the role of fanfic I guess.
> 
> 5) The dissociation described here is based on my own experience with it- it's certainly not the only way to experience it. 
> 
> 6) I also personally headcanon that Law has scars from the amber lead like vitiligo that he tries to hide but I couldn't find a way to organically get it into the narrative

He can’t deny that from the moment he saw Straw Hat he was interested. After all, the boy punched a Celestial Dragon in the face. And maybe if he’d realised the sheer- no, that wasn’t true. He’d known just how chaotic Luffy and his crew was, he’d just been arrogant enough to assume he could curb that. And then all of his plans had crumbled anyway, would have crumbled without their specific brand of mess-making. 

And through all of it Luffy had refused to give up, had continued fighting against insane odds and he’d already been interested and really, what had he been expecting from him? From himself? 

But he’d said it, hadn’t he, at Dressrosa? That if it all went wrong Law wanted to die by his side. Naturally, it had been 80% about Doflamingo, but there had been a part of him screaming, _he’s here and in danger because of_ you _, because he does the right thing just because he can, because he is selfish and insanely determined about those he calls friends and you knew that and still let him get close, because he looked at you and called you a good man and the least you can do for someone like that is die alongside them._

Because he’d already gotten one smiling idiot killed by his sheer presence.

And now, now...He’s had many things and people he’s been willing to fight for, to die for. Cora-san. Revenge on Doflamingo, for thirteen long years. His crew, some of them for nearly as long. 

Luffy is the first thing in a long time he’s wanted to live for, and it’s a problem. Because he’d been doing everything to reach one goal, and now it’s been- somewhat- reached. 

Flevance had been sick and it had burned and they called him the only survivor but it wasn’t true, not really. Law had died amongst the flames true enough, nothing left but a walking corpse and a heart of coal, poison and embers and memoriam incarnate, and now his goal was gone and someone had breathed air into his lungs and _what was he supposed to do_?

Well, he had a plan of sorts- to help take down Kaido, because that had been the terms of their agreement- but after that ran out he didn’t really know. One Piece was a distant dream. Avoiding the rule of the Yonkos would take everything the Heart Pirates had for a while- and oh, he wanted to see them. 

He hadn’t thought he’d ever see them again. 

“How are you feeling?”

He turned at the soft voice to see Robin smiling one of her enigmatic smiles before she moved to stand next to him at the bow. 

“My arm is a little numb but it will be fine.” He nodded. 

“That’s not what I meant.” She laughed lightly. “You’ve seemed preoccupied.”

“Isn’t that to be expected after an ordeal like we just went through?” He carefully kept his voice neutral and disinterested to try and shut the conversation down.

“Hmm, true. But it doesn’t explain why you’re avoiding our dear captain.” She returned with a knowing smile dancing on her lips. 

Damnit. She really was scarily perceptive. The more he learnt- about her, the Straw Hats, and especially the World Government- the more he wondered what had come first: the bounty, or the falling in with pirates?

He could take a good guess. 

“He’s exhausting.” He answered, which was honestly true. The high-energy, boundary ignorant, constantly touchy boy was hard enough to handle without the churning in his gut every time they interacted, a tangled mess of emotions that he wasn’t sure how to approach. 

“Ah, I suppose that makes sense. For quiet types like us it can be a bit overwhelming being with this crew. But you get used to it, hmm?” She chuckled. 

“Used to it...” He repeated thoughtfully, leaning further against the rails. Without his permission the corner of his mouth turned up, just a little, at a burst of raucous laughter from the main deck. “I suppose you do.” When she didn’t reply after at least a minute he glanced over to see her staring at him. “What?”

“You love him.” Robin said. It wasn’t judging, and in fact there wasn’t much inflection at all. A statement of fact. 

“Everybody does.” He returned neutrally, and, well, she couldn’t really argue with that. Which was just as he wanted it, because it was a topic he really didn’t want to talk about.

He was, to be honest, a highly unappealing person to be tied to in any way. His issues had issues. Chopper had nearly fainted at his list of parasomnias. And it wasn’t like romance was something he was well versed or even interested in. The occasional one night stand, sure, but dating? And yet now he wanted to stay. What was he supposed to do with that? He still wasn’t sure what it was he was even yearning after. 

Luffy threw himself into ridiculous danger to save anybody he was even mildly fond of; Law wasn’t special. 

And, well. That was the problem, wasn’t it? 

He’d never felt like this before, like someone was important in this way, almost greedy, almost selfish. And there wasn’t much chance to think about it properly, not with them reaching Zou and everything going off the rails as usually happened with the Straw Hats involved. It didn’t help that he was still trying to work through everything else too, that he was staying quiet and in the back and it was easy, so easy, to let reality slip from his grasp into nothing but static. 

It was like he blinked and there were his crew, emerging from the undergrowth and yelling for him and running forward. Bepo, grabbing hold of him, and for a while everything was solid and he was just with them, in the present. 

Then, of course, a simple meeting with his ally turned into a party. Why had he ever expected anything different? To make matters worse, Nico Robin found him hiding in a corner within the hour. 

“It seems like our crews have become friends after all.” She stated, pleasant smile widening slightly at the frustrated look he gave her. 

“I was trying to make things easier.” He grunted. “This alliance won’t last forever.” 

“Very brave of you to think you’ll ever be able to escape Luffy.” She smirked. “I assume there is another issue going on here.” 

“I’m going to have to leave.” He sighed after a moment. It was clearly useless to keep trying to avoid her and her observations. “And I found the thought of not being around Straw Hat...discomforting.” 

“Do you know why you want to be around him?” She asked simply. 

“...He makes me... _want_ to be happy.” He haltingly said. Not unusual, apparently. But it was very new to him. 

“Well. Why don’t you just tell him that.” She said like it was easy. 

He absolutely couldn’t just tell him that. 

* * *

“Hey, Straw Hat-ya, I have something to talk with you about.” 

“Eh? I haven’t done anything!” He protested. 

“No.” He agreed impatiently. “I’m not going to tell you off.” 

“You’ve got your serious face on though...” He said suspiciously. 

“I always have a serious face on, according to you. Come on, already.” 

“Where are we going?” 

“Somewhere quieter, so I can actually hear myself think.” He grumbled, walking towards the trees. Luffy was following, which he could tell by the way his whining segued into chattering but stayed loud behind him. Once they were out of sight of the building and the sounds of the party were distant he turned to face the other captain. 

“Is this gonna be a boring alliance talk or a friend talk?” Luffy asked before he could say anything, Law fixing him with a brief glare. 

“We’re not friends, Straw Hat.” 

“We are!” He pouted. “I don’t understand why you keep saying we’re not.”

“You don’t want me around you, Straw Hat-ya. I’m poisonous.” He said, because there had to be a way to make him understand, to make him _see_ what Law would do to him in the end, like he’d done to everyone else who cared. 

“So?” Luffy replied. “I’m immune to poison. Didn’t you know that?” 

Of course. Of course he was. And of course he didn’t get the _fucking point_ -

He can’t help the hysterical laughter, because it’s just such a _Luffy_ response and really, why did he expect anything else? And he keeps laughing, except he might be crying now, only thing he’s sure of the way the bark of the tree behind him scrapes as he slides to the ground, the pressure of it keeping him tentatively rooted in reality. 

That and Luffy’s voice, calling his silly nickname with increasing urgency until there’s a sudden pressure on his wrists and 

“ _Law_.” 

And 

Everything

Shuts 

Down. 


	2. Chapter 2

He’s sitting at the base of a tree, back pressed to the thick trunk, warm and rough fingers entwined with his where they’d been trying to dig into his head. His knees were up to his chest and if not for that Luffy would be practically sat in his lap for how close he was; all Law could see was his worried expression before he pulled back a little and allowed some view of the forest beyond. 

“Don’t call me that.” He rasped when he remembered how to speak. 

“I wanted to feel closer to you by calling you by your first name. I know it’s special.” Luffy pouted, but for once he wasn’t actually arguing. 

“Keep calling me Traffy.” He said without really thinking. “I’ve never really had a nickname before so it’s pretty special.” 

That got him a grin, one of the ones like sunlight. It hurts, the bright attention, and he almost regrets speaking up. Just another reminder of the last time someone smiled at him like that, the last time he dared to want someone’s kindness and selfishly destroyed them and he should have learnt better by now, shouldn't he? 

It’s a train of thought he can’t stop, one that wants and wants and _wants_ ; unending, carnivorous, a familiar gnawing hunger for what he can’t have and doesn’t deserve. Monsters can’t live in sunlight and he’s not stupid enough to think of himself as anything but.

“I wanted to hear you laugh, but not like that.” Luffy says suddenly, and Law freezes like a rabbit that’s caught the eye of a fox as it interrupts his spiralling thoughts because it’s the intent voice, the serious expression, of Luffy about to wage a dangerous battle. And then, so simply, like it was easy, “Hey, Traffy, I didn’t really get what you were talking about before, but I want to be around you cos you’re nakama, you’re special to me.” Then he continued with mounting enthusiasm, “I like the way you think super hard to come up with amazing plans even if I don’t understand them, and the way you _joke_ that I don’t understand, and I like your tattoos and your spots and your earrings and the way you frown all the time. And I like the way you smile funny and the rare times you smile proper, and I like that you do it so rarely cos that’s _you_ , Traffy. Anything that makes you you, I like.” 

And he took his hands away and instead put them on his shoulders and slowly, carefully, drew him forward into a loose hug, palms sliding gently down his back.

It was like Law been piling boulders onto a pane of painted glass, watching it crack and splinter as failure upon failure brought him closer to breaking- and this, a gentle brush of a hand, was enough to finally make it shatter, a break he felt down to his bones as he just crumbled in Luffy’s hold. 

It leaves Law facing an awful dilemma. Because Luffy can’t lie at all, and his instincts are exemplary, his track record unblemished. He trusts Luffy’s judgement and if he does he must trust that, despite his own beliefs and the evidence and despite _everything_ , there’s something within him worth caring for. And it’s an ache that’s nearly cavernous, a realisation that the distance from everyone had been imagined, that they’d cared and he’d cared and they’d managed to stay beside him, to survive, nonetheless. Years spent keeping himself lonely, focused on self-destructive revenge, for nothing.

The first tears were a surprise. And they didn’t stop, back starting to heave with the sheer force that they were tearing out of his throat, until he found himself wailing in Luffy’s unwavering grip. For Flevance, for Cora-san, and most of all for himself.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but waking up was much more of a surprise. He was still cradled in Luffy’s hold and he was singing something nonsensical which devolved into surprised spluttering as Law realised where he was and began flailing. Probably the only reason he wasn’t in pain from the flurry of Laws bony knees and elbows was because he was made of rubber. 

“Oh, you’re awake.” Luffy chuckled after speaking as Law scrambled to his feet and started rapidly putting his clothes back in order and brushing them free of dirt, occasionally employing use of a room. 

“How long has it been?” Law demanded. 

“Hmm. About four hours.” 

“What about dinner?” He finds himself saying like an idiot, but to be fair this was Luffy they were talking about. 

“We missed it.” Luffy replied in a light whine and just _what_. “Sanji brought me some of those meat on stick things, shosh kobobs or something, but I couldn’t leave or eat too much cos you might wake up.” 

“Shish kebabs.” He corrected on complete automatic. Because- “You, Monkey D. Luffy, didn’t eat dinner so...you wouldn’t wake me up?” 

“You needed the sleep! Anyway, you’re awake now so let’s go! Sanji said there’s loads more meat!” 

“Ah.” He remembered the wailing and screaming he’d been doing- there was no way they hadn’t heard that. “You go ahead.” 

“Don’t be an idiot. You need to eat! It’s not healthy to eat as little as you do!” 

“I’d rather not.” 

Luffy stopped, and looked at him. Stared for long enough that it was making him uncomfortable. 

“What?” He snapped. 

“Jeez, for such a smart guy you can really be kinda dumb.” 

“I don’t want to hear that from you, of all people.” He sighed, rubbing at his forehead. 

“Well, you _are_!” Luffy declared. “They’re your nakama, right? Why are you worrying about them? They think you’re great just like I do, so don’t avoid them!” 

He stared for a moment before sighing, this one more amused than anything as he bowed his head a little and closed his eyes. 

“Sure, sure.”

“It’s really hard to believe you when you say things in that way, Traffy.” Luffy huffed. “I’ve got an idea. You know you can do that thing where you take your heart out of your body and put someone else’s in? You should have my heart and I should have yours.”

“ _What_?” Law choked. 

“Like I said Traffy, you’re an idiot! I don’t trust you not to let yourself get hurt or something. So this way you won’t let yourself, right?” 

He blinked slowly at the younger man. 

“Unusually devious for you, Straw Hat.” He noted. It was those animalistic instincts again; no, Law hadn’t hesitated to throw his life away on Dressrosa and probably wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Luffy’s life was a whole other matter. 

“Psssh, whatever. I’m not losing you, Traffy, you’re mine now. So do your cool swapping thing already!”

“Alright, alright.” He sighed, dredging up some of his recovered power to cast a Room around the two of them. The bright blue of it lit up the area slightly and cast a strange, ethereal hue over the affair like it was something out of a fairytale. It made him uncomfortable paired with the way Luffy was staring so intensely at him so he drew Kikoku quickly. 

Actually using his scalpel technique to remove them was easy. The problem came when Luffy immediately grabbed at Law’s heart in his usual thoughtless way. Having someone touch your dismembered organ was odd enough without the rough handling. 

“Ouch!” He barked. “Idiot, give it here, _I’ll_ do it.” 

“Aww come on, I just wanted to mess with Law’s heart for a bit!” Luffy whined, which was so ironic it went out the other side of not being funny and made Law snort. He took his heart, lined it up with the square in Luffy’s chest, and slotted it into place. 

“Oh.” The other boy said quietly, reaching a hand up to the tanned patch of skin. “It feels weird. But a good weird?” Then a slow grin spread across his face. “Cool! I can keep a bit of you with me wherever I go, huh?” Without waiting for a reply he jumped to his feet, looking towards where their crews were still partying. “Let’s go eat already!” 

“I’ll be right behind you.” Law huffed. 

Luffy squinted at him before grinning again. 

“Yeah, okay!” And he was off, yelling for Sanji and food. 

Law watched after him for a moment before turning his attention to the boy’s heart in his hand. What a crazy idea, which made it fitting for such a crazy person. And he really was too trusting; there were a lot of pirates out there that, alliance or not, would never put their lives so literally into another’s hands for the certain death it would spell. 

But, well, that was Luffy, wasn’t it?

The heart slid into place and he jolted slightly at the brief flash of pain that always came with the operation. And paused. Took in the new beat in his breast. The steady, sure thudding of it, just slightly out of tune with the rest of his body, was oddly comforting. All of Luffy’s steadfast strength, right there when he needed it. 

“Captain!” A number of his crew screamed up ahead, and with the slightest of smiles he tucked his hands into his pockets and followed Luffy and the sound of the people where he belonged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: my playlist for this story was just called 'law is a depressed boy'


End file.
